Where is MY DAD?

Okay…. I thought it was strange that he put his nice slacks in his backpack. I even thought it was odd the backpack wasn’t in the Jeep. Now I’m really confused because Saturday came and went and we didn’t go out for coffee….now we had another Saturday and still no visit to the coffee shop….ahhhhhh woof! What the Bark? Where is my Dad?

So he called Mom on facetime tonight and I could hear his voice but its not the same. No one to snuggle with, no one to wrestle, no one to drive me to the coffee shop…..

Mom is fun, but she is a girl. I mean, I appreciate it…. But still not the same. She is softer and snugglier… But I kind of like that rough feeling of Dad’s beard when I lick him awake….

I think he is in china or something like that…. I just hope he brings me something cool to chew on…

Anyway….missing my Dad……

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Dad days of Summer

I love days like this–

Dad picks me up early from puppy care…We get in the Jeep– he buckles me up and we are OFF!!!!

So today he took me to Lowes, where I get to meet other people, then to Zamzows where I get to sample different treats, and then to St. Arbucks to worship glorius COFFEE!

We’ve been missing our Saturday doggie dates for a few weeks and I think he feels we are losing touch with eachother. I think this is partly due to his time away for work and me hitting my puppy pre-teen years. Dad says I’m acting out alot, hanging out with the wrong pack at daycare and listening to music he doesn’t understand. I mean, I think Def Lep was cool, like when I was 18 months old, but now that I am almost 14 in puppy years, well those guys are looking a little aged….Dad needs some hipper music.

He’s also been on to me about cleaning my kennel. Why should I make up my bed? I’m just going to sleep in it the next night any way…and speaking of sleep…he says that’s all I do. Well…if stuff wasn’t so boring maybe I wouldn’t sleep. Working in the yard…boring, Cleaning the garage…boring, Sunday drives…boring, episodes of Arrested Development…super boring….oh- that airport thing…flying in the plane….really….really boring. Why do I sleep……stuff is just boring.Image

I need excitement– I need friends to come over and dig in the yard, turn over the trash, chase some cats, eat something crazy like penutbutter. Maybe I’ll get a tattoo…..or worse!

Okay– I’m rebelling– I really love doing all that stuff with Dad– I just like time with him….

Filled with Teenage Angst!

Trigger

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Somebody Shrunk Ranger

Holy puppy pies! I came home and thought somebody shrunk Ranger!

Really this little guy wondered up into our yard and Dad took him in. It was raining and thundering outside and he was pretty shaken up. While Dad tried to find his owner through facebook, craigslist, and by driving around….I hung out with him and talked him through his freakiness.

Dad finally found an ad on craigslist for a lost puppy and called the owner. The ad said there was a hundred dollar reward. When she picked up the puppy she didn’t offer, Dad wasn’t going to take it anyway, I was thinking we could spend that money on new toys for me and my big brother.

All this could have been avoided if they had a collar on him with a phone number AND a microchip. He didn’t have either. Make sure your pup has a collar and a microchip. Be sure you don’t dry Ranger on high temp….I don’t want him to shrink…

Nuff said

Trigger

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Spring

So loving the weather! I may have to check out for awhile and just enjoy the nice temps. Plus its hockey season at its best! My Coyotes are amazing! I just wish they would let Raffi Torres come back. That guy he hit was one of those eastern European pansy skaters anyway. For barking out loud…..its hockey.

Not much to howl about….just hanging out with my dad, cruising for cheekas in the jeep, and looking good with the wind in my fur.

Check you later….not like Raffi….but yeah…..

Trigger

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Social Skills vs. Ninja Skills

Well, I’m in the dog house. Which is an expression I don’t understand since my crib is pretty cool. Flat screen tube, a kick’n surround sound (very cool in an igloo shaped doggie pad), posters of my favorite dog heroes, and even a slot machine that gives out kibbles on a pay out.

No, instead I’m in that dog house. The dog house I guess dad gets into with mom on a regular basis. I thought when he was in the dog house he had a cool crash pad….but now I know the bitter truth. This proverbial dog house sucks.

It appears I have been a bit of a bully to my fellow paw friends. Now I would never hurt anyone, but apparently smack talk is not tolerated in this house or at day care. Enough barking around here- let me cut to the chase.

Last week I was giving lip to this other dog, who shall remain nameless but his two-legged’s name has a J and rhymes with hen. Anybark, I start my trash talk, nothing serious, just random stuff like “you’re so ugly, you must have had you butt shaved and learned to walk backwards”, and “your face looks like you’ve been chasing parked cars”. So anyway this dogs all huffy and goes off on me. Guess who gets in trouble? Yep, me. Because I was trash talking. What ever happened to “sticks and stones”? Ummmm…. good question what did happen to them? He is so lucky I didn’t whip out my Ninja skills. I was about to when his baby-sitter stepped in to save his tail.

Then on Sunday afternoon Dad is sleeping on the trampoline. I had just finished putting the “Little Rat” in his place. This is a pip-squeek dog always messing with me at the fence next to my kennel. This thing is supposed to be a dog, but it looks like a “Cross Breeds Gone Wild”. Seriously, this thing escaped from a DNA exchange program. Anyway the little rodent tried to get lippy with me at the fence and I charged it pretty hard. Waking Dad from his slumber I got yelled at.

Like most things with Dad, I blew it off and pranced across the yard and decided to take on the other neighbor dog. I can’t ever remember his name but the last time I saw him he was a little squirt. Anyway I decided to go over and give him a piece of me. So I get an extra head start at the fence and charge as hard as I can with my war cry.

There were two things out of balance in my universe at this point. The first was that Dad fell asleep looking at the fence slats he needed to replace. We have several slats that are getting a bit worn out and brittle. Apparently it was not interesting enough to ponder since he went to sleep thinking about it. The other thing, that little squirt got big! Ninja skills don’t work when the universe is out of balance otherwise I would have Tai-Bowed his Puppy Chow mug. As he charged the fence in response to me, he broke through! I then noticed two additional things at this point, how deep his bark had grown and how shallow the puddle I left on the ground….

And who gets blamed? Me of course. I am grounded, Dad is fixing a fence, and the whole time Ranger just sat there looking at me. Didn’t even have my back!

So I need some confidence building and need to learn discipline. I signed up for Dog Kung Fu lessons. Dog Kung Fu also known as Góuquán is a form of Chinese martial arts from China.  It specializes in takedowns and ground fighting.  Just what I need to back up my bark! I’m also buying some dog boxing gloves to train with. This should be cool. Guess I will have to get Dad’s credit card and order the MMA Ultimate Fighter package this weekend!Yep, I have the Rocky theme in the iPaw and so gonna rock your world!

As always….Keeping under the radar…..for now

Trigger

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Healing at Montour

So Dad and I got up early this morning and headed out for some more adventures. We headed up to Placeville but there was a blizzard. Dad was doing great on the roads but my stubby tail was tucked between my legs.

We came back down the mountain and Dad found some medows to play in and eat lunch.

Later we went to Montour. This is sacred hunting grounds for him. It is where him and Scout got their first bird and they loved hunting this area.

This is good for Dad. I am lucky he brings me out here. Not sure I’m into hunting, but it is great bird watching. If you want to read his side of it, check out his blog about today

Right now we are sitting here together with coffee in our favorite spot on the couch. He is blogging on his iPad and me on my iPaw.

I love time with Dad….btw way ranger is grounded. He chewed up one of Dads drum sticks…. I didn’t mind since I’m not into drums anyway…

A good day for healing….

Trigger

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Back Country Check-in

Yep…a boys day out with Dad. Got up early, got the girls out of house, fixed eggs with Dad while Ranger….well who knows what Ranger was doing.

Dad likes Tabasco on his eggs while Ranger and I prefer them plain. We gulped down about a dozen eggs together and headed out the door. Ranger was a little slower and got his collar stuck on the door striker as he was getting in the Jeep. Such a rookie. Dadngot him un stuck and for the next few minutes he just shook his head making his ears flop. Notnonly a rookie, but a drama queen as well.

We hit the back country with a vengence. Playing in the snow, jumping over logs, riding in the Jeep. Of course on the way out we had to stop for COFFEE!

The roads were pretty rough and we got bumped around the whole way. Dad made lots of stops for us to play. We saw rock slides and had to cross through a two-foot deep creek that was running over the road. That was scary but Dad was doing okay.

I like days out with Dad.

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For Kryptonite Like Chocolate

I was a bad puppy this weekend. I was working with Dad at the storage room helping him get ready for teaching a survival class. I was hanging out in the jeep while he toiled away. As I watched him sorting and packing, I noticed a really awesome smell. Better than old sneakers, dead animals in the woods, and much more inviting than coyote poop….it was chocolate.

I searched throough out the jeep and could not find it. It was only a faint smell…but as I got closer to Dad’s backpack it grew. I am not allowed anywhere near his pack….but I could not help myself. Posing as the concerned pup watching my human, I quietly worked the zipper open. Since the pack has winter zipper tabs on it….it was an easy task. I did this while using my complete ninja skills portfolio.

In the bag I didn’t find the chocolate right away, but I did find…..potato chips, almonds, and Dad’s stash of sunflower seeds. This was perfect because earlier I had drank a bunch of his coffee ( we sharred…he didn’t know). After consuming his snack pack I was still being called to the odor of chocolate.

After further searching I found the prize. Though not a brownie, or candy bar, or something packed with chocolate….I settled for a muffin with small chocolate chips in it.

Unfortunatly Dad found it and hit the panick button. Within the hour I was in the vets office, getting a shot and puking my guts up. The shot made me really drunk as well.

So inspite of all my ninja skills, I got caught, and had to pay the price.

Dad did everything right to keep a normal dog out of trouble….I am a super hero so those rules and methods don’t apply to me.

Chocolate to a puppy ninja is like kryptonite to Superman. Only worse….it can kill us.

I got lucky…..

Ignoring the urge of the fruit of the Gods…..

Trigger

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Dad and Drum

Somewhere a few eons ago a man sitting in cave decided to pick up a stick and bang it on a hollow log. He smiled and it was good. Soon his family gathered around. It was odd but it made them move. The trouble was all he wanted to do was play the thing.

Being the inventive type he soon learned that stretching dead animals across the open end of the log would create a different sound. Since hollow logs were a common and deemed useless by the tribe he was able to get several logs. Once stretched with additional skins he had an array of tones and sounds.

In addition to being the inventive type he worked all hours of the night creating, improving, practicing…..this lead to discontent in the tribe. He soon found himself renting a single room cave on the outskirts….just across the mamath tracks….very close to the areas where the dinosaurs roamed.

It wasn’t long before he met another cast out. One who through similiar experimentation had learned to string fibers and sinew together to create an instrument when plucked or strummed made fascinating sounds. He brought with them someone who could wail in similiar tones. The first singer. Together they lived in the small cave playing all hours of the night. The wailer had a much larger ego and at times could be very high maintenance.

Thus the first rockband was formed though no one really knows why it was called rock since they played their music on hollow trees, animal skins, and sinew….maybe it was the difficulty of the singer.

I think this was how my Dad started playing drums. He hasn’t played in years but has started doing it again and I really wish we could send him to live in a cave.

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Back to Barking

Have not had a great deal I wanted to share. I took some time off from the blog, jumped on the opportunity to take a break, and signed up for a Zumba class.

So Dad has been working really crazy hours but I have been effective in guaranteeing snuggle time. Mainly because he is so tired he doesn’t notice when I slither up to the couch. If I am sneaky enough I can get into his nachos and lick the cheese so lightly he never notices I have been into the bowl. I am a nacho ninja!

Sneaky is the opperative word for Brit pups. We have natural stealth hardwired into us. Some say this helps us in the field as we sneak up on birds… I believe its so we can get our share of coffee. I have been able to pull a burger off the bun at a picnic. I have licked the juices from a t-bone undetected. I have replaced water for company in their glass taken so tactically from the white bowl, the visitor believes their glass is always half full. I am a great host. I create optimism.

I do so much ninja stuff it is crazy. I have a secret ninja path from my yard to the yard next door. There is a trap door that allows me to go to the neighbors yard and launch ninja missions from there. I try to use my ninja powers for good, like ambushing the kids, taking their ice cream, and ducking back in before anyone knows.

One of my favorite tricks is when hanging out with Dad in the garage. He is always busy working on the jeep, building an rc car, or inventing something. I sneak my way over to the dog food and help myself to a midnight snack. Yes it is a midnight snack because Dad never sleeps.

Ranger thinks he is a ninja. He is all black and hides pretty well in the dark. But he sucks at sneaking and is always bumping his head into the wall and stuff. He is what Chris Farley was in Hollywood Ninja. I’m working with him on his skills. I gave him some nun-chucks but he just chewed them. Ninjas are bright…. Ranger is bright….like a distant planet….like one not in our system….like a Pluto….but Pluto in a distant galaxy….one Star Trek hasn’t found yet…..

Being a ninja is so cool. Everyone wants to be us. There are games,movies, costumes, etc. if everyone was a ninja it wouldn’t be so special.

Well that’s the bark for this week. Sorry for the delay…I’ve just been doing too much cool stuff and gathering my energy for the new year…..

High…ya!

Trigger

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